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Deep Sea Dead

One

“What? A boat? I mean a ship? I could fall overboard and drown! It could sink! Look at what happened to the Titanic!”

My skuzzy boss, Fabio Scarpello, glared at me with, well, one could never really know what Fabio thought, so I decided not to even try.

It was more than likely X-rated anyway.

He puffed on a re-lit cigar. “The ship sails from New York to Miami to Bermuda and back. Who the hell ever heard of an iceberg in those waters?”

I wanted to argue that there might be pockets of cold water out in the Atlantic that could form into an iceberg, but I knew my imagination was going wild so I could come up with some excuse not to go. I wasn’t going to mention my being prone to seasickness though. Fabio would turn that into something embarrassing.

After a few more puffs, he said, “Look, doll--”

“Don’t call me doll. Ever.” I sat straighter in my seat across from his mold-covered desk. Okay, maybe mold-covered was a bit strong, but I was guessing there had to be something growing beneath the used paper plates, coffee cups, piles of ashes and files. He had my folder in his hand.

“Okay, newbie--”

“Pauline, Ms. Sokol or Investigator Sokol will do fine,” I started to sip on my decaf café latté that my co-worker, friend, and roommate Goldie had made me earlier, then decided it more than likely had become contaminated when I’d walked into Fabio’s office.

He cursed under his breath. “Investigator Sokol is a stretch, but if you want to keep your freaking job, you better take this freaking case. High seas or not.”

A nurse on a cruise ship.

I should be excited about the assignment, I mean, come on. Salty sea air, wind in my hair, sun, bronzed males, coral sand of Bermuda and...waves. My stomach lurched.

And back into the old nursing career. That same career that I kept vowing I would never go back to. Damn.

He shoved the file toward me. “Want it or not?”

Not would have been my first choice. Pauline Sokol was not one for change. Pauline Sokol was not one for water transportation. And Pauline Sokol was not one to be stuck out in some nautical God knew where investigating medical insurance fraud...alone.

Admittedly I’ve never been out of New England for a vacation or any other reason, and that probably had something to do with my reluctance to try new things. Ethnic Hope Valley had been my home for thirty-five years--and I kinda liked my feet on mother earth.

But there were those nasty things called bills that had invaded my life. And they required being paid. And that required money. Sigh. I looked up to see Fabio tapping his cigar into the dirty ashtray.

Amid the flying ashes, he asked, “Well?”

I snatched the folder. “When do I leave?”

“Friday.”

“Friday? It’s already Wednesday.”

“One of the staff nurses onboard got, er...sick. It’s perfect. Just perfect. Bon voyage, doll.”

#

I decided to ignore Fabio calling me doll again since my mind got stuck on the word Friday. April 13. Perfect. My new assignment would start on an unlucky day. I hurried out of his office and paused in the hallway for a breath of fresh air.

“Suga!”

I spun around to see my tied-for-best friend in the world, Goldie, rushing down the hall. My other roommate and other tied-for-best friend in the world and Goldie’s “honey” was Miles Scarpello. Fabio’s nephew. Adopted. His saving grace.

There is a god.

Goldie dressed in Gucci, Prada and Armani. Sometimes from the ladies’ dept. Sometimes the men’s. But I still loved him, and he always looked like a movie star. Today he ushered in spring with a pink, black, white and orange spiral patterned sweater over black slacks and a pink camisole top. He wore a Sandra Dee blonde ponytail wig that looked more real than my natural blonde hair. Looked very sixties. And very beachy. How fitting.

Maybe I could borrow the outfit for my cruise.

“So, Suga--” he yanked me into his office, which looked like a cross between New Orleans, Goldie’s hometown, and the jungle. Gotta love his unusual taste. “--what’s your new assignment?”

I held the folder out toward him as if it were a snake. “Here, you look. I don’t have the stomach for it so early in the morning.”

Goldie patted my head in a very Goldie-like sort of way. “Let’s take a looksee.” He ran a pink colored nail across the envelope and amid the tearing sound mumbled, “Shit.”

“Shit? What does shit mean?” I slumped down on the zebra couch, feeling a bit faint. I think the color drained from my cheeks upon hearing Goldie’s tone alone.

He looked at me for a few seconds. I had the sudden thought that he was making up some kind of lie. That hurt, but if Goldie lied to me, it would have been for my own good.

“I...well, what I meant was...shit, you get to go on a cruise to some warm, sunny island, and I’ll be stuck in stupid Hope Valley, Connecticut, with temperatures in the 50s all month.” He took a gigantic swig of his coffee. Goldie never swigged.

I could only stare. Was Goldie really concerned with the temperature? Or had he seen something in the folder that I should be worried about? After several minutes of silence and him offering me another latté over and over, I finally asked, “Gold, are you lying to me?”

“Yes!” flew out of his mouth on a breeze. He flopped onto his leopard chair and looked at me with a pitiable glare. “I’m sorry, Suga. But, Bermuda. Bermuda! Ber...mu...da!”

“I guess I’ll give you credit for your honesty about lying even though I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. As a matter of fact, I will take a regular latté since I think I may need a dose of caffeine.”

Before he stood he said, “Your standard at Dunkin Donuts is hazelnut decaf. You don’t drink caffeine, Suga.”

“I do now. Seems as if I’m going to need it on this case. What is so wrong about cruising to Bermu...the triangle. You are worried I may get sucked into some paranormal triangle of ocean?”

Goldie screeched.

“I’m sorry, Gold.” I jumped up and grabbed him in a hug. “I didn’t mean to...wait a minute. Why am I consoling you? I should be the one being comforted. I’m the one going on this fool assignment.”

He eased free and looked at me. “I’m so sorry. I never should have said anything. I mean, folks sail to Bermuda every day. Planes fly overhead. And, well, bon voyage, Suga!”

Selected Works-Click on red title for excerpt

Humorous mystery
The Pauline Sokol Mystery Series Book #1
The first book in The Pauline Sokol Mysteries, A Dose of Murder, is a wonderful medical-world story enlivened by an exceptionally fun and sassy voice. In it, a burned out registered nurse becomes a medical insurance fraud investigator only to be yanked back into the nursing field by an experienced hunk of an investigator who she just can’t say no to--until she stumbles upon two dead bodies.
The Pauline Sokol Mystery Series Book #2
Pauline Sokol, ex-RN turned medical insurance fraud investigator finds herself embroiled in a scam of senior citizens...and Viagra fraud. If that isn’t bad enough, one of the old geezers has fallen for her...and two have mysteriously departed from this world.
The Pauline Sokol Mystery Series Book #3
Ex-RN Pauline Sokol finds herself confined against her will in a psychiatric hospital when she goes undercover to investigate fraudulent brokers who match patients with treatment facilities--for a bounty as high as $4000.00 a head. A master plan of escape ensues when “doctor” Jagger shows up...until the broker is found dead.
The Pauline Sokol Mystery Series Book #4
Blurb: Sailing over the bounty seas is not the ideal case for ex-RN Pauline Sokol who has never been out of New England. But when her sleazy boss, Fabio Scarpello, offers her the chance to work a case on The Golden Dolphin--sailing through the Bermuda Triangle is the least of her problems. Murder, mayhem and a missing nurse take center stage while Pauline is trapped on the ship, her roommate murdered, and Pauline’s name is next on the list.
The Pauline Sokol Mystery Series Book #5
For her latest case, Pauline Sokol is assigned to investigate plastic surgery fraud in swanky Newport, Rhode Island. To get inside the exclusive “spa”, she must go undercover as a private duty nurse. Now all she needs is a suitable well-heeled patient. Luckily, her best friend and colorful co-worker Goldie fits the bill (and the high heels), and he selflessly volunteers for a nose job. Once she’s infiltrated this surgical playground for the rich and spoiled, Pauline discovers that someone in the practice is scamming the insurance companies. More than a few of these jet setters have become addicted to plastic surgery and many of the women’s husbands have refused to pay for any more elective “changes.” So someone is making up diagnoses so the (inflated) costs are covered without anyone being the wiser. A “nose job” has now become a “repair of a deviated septum for better breathing.” But a simple case of semantics soon turns deadly when a male secretary’s body is found floating fifty feet below the jagged ocean cliff. As she struggles to keep herself out of danger, Pauline can’t believe her non-altered eyes when the enigmatic Jagger shows up to at the B&B where she’s staying. But even her hunky cohort can’t keep her safe when a simple case of going under the knife is anything but cut and dried.